Yesterdsy, the english essay i wrote for an undergraduate student was challenged or even critisized by the other English teachers. The problems of the essay were redundance, wrong grammars and chinglish. I was shocked at that moment. my mind went blank. instantly, i doubted my capability for this position. What should I do? I asked myself. moreover, i must pretend to be all right in front the other colleagues in case that they discovered any clues. it is embrassed for this mistake. i did not want anybody know, even though a shouting of regret and angry kept bursting out inside my body.
as an adult, i can not cry. can I? i have learned a lot of ways to control my emotions. now was time for them to take effect. the first step.i moved was to take a deep breath and to clam down, telling myself that do not waste time in the useless self-regret and fear of being criticized or laughed. in this way, i got myself back on track to the daily heavy works.
I modified the esaay immediately. in the process, i began to see the correct way of writing. of course, it was just a litttle. and the disovery was just occaional and lucky. actually, I was still confused at that time. i did understand the whole things. the things i found was to make the essay's topic clear at first. only when this goal is achieved, can i pursue a deeper topic. so i rewrote a new essay at the next day' morning.
When the essay was completed, i asked my friend fanny to help in proofreading.
tonight, I spent three hours in writing just one and a half of the recomenndation letter. the low efficiency made me confused. i would like to find out the reasons for it. therefore, i looked for the Zhihu, and found an article talking about the problems of chinglish and the correct way to write. I found it was just talking about me, not the other. i benefited a lot from that aticles. so i.decieded.to quest for more knowledges by reading the books the articles recommended.
Two hours later, Fanny gave me her feedback of the essay, which provided me further help. So far, i have found the right direction to modify the essay tomorrow, that is being concise and clear, instead of being complicated and 晦涩难懂; using simple words and core sentences; checking the grammars and phrases collocation.
at present, the passive emotions stemmed from self-doubt has converted into a sense of motivation. I am not as fear as yesterday's. i hope the experience will become a significant start of the improvement of my writing skills. No, I must make it, or i will be considered unqualified to the current position and may lose my job. this is not the result i expect. as i know, it will be more painful if i can not improve my writing soon. be alert!