I broke a lot of things lately.i broke two lollipops and
i broke my bracelet the vey first day i wore it.
i guess it was not a very good sign.
but i prefer to explain it in a good way.
say i have already broken with the past old bad luck and
i'm ready to embrace a good one.
still there was something i need to think about .
like probably i was tooooo overwhelmed
by my own emotions which wasn't supposed to happen
to a woman like my age.
a woman like my age was supposed to be more rational
and sensible and more graceful to almost everything.
but it turned out to be the other way ...
or probably i was acting like a crown
to hide my true feelings...
about the lollipops ,
it was because a big guy handed over me with two big lollipops
on my birthday and said that i should give them to my son
and i was surprised by him ...
about the bracelet ,
i was too rush to hide my embarrassment
when i was turned down by my manager
about my deferred holidays ,
that i almost forgot about my new ornament...
and about my keys ....
i completely forgot about where i lost them....
what's wrong with me...what made me lost my mind?
or it was just a false impression
that i cared about nothing
when i was actually cared.
this kind exaggerated performance happend
when i was irritated by something .
i took it as a self protection .
sometimes when i act so well
that i was most fooled by myself.
l think i was born to be an actor sometimes.
i don't like acting ,but i have to admit that
instead of being hurt i prefer to act like i don't care.
and if i don't give a second thought ,
it could be just fine...
untill,like today ,i thought a bit more
and i finally decided to let it go...
it's not a big deal anyway...
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2018年6月11日：